2 April 2018

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, it wasn’t planned but I couldn’t believe my luck. My boyfriend was not as excited as me as he already had children, but it didn’t stop my happiness. I had everything planned in my head, the pram, nursery, cot, names, everything.

I was 12 weeks pregnant, I went home to tell my family the good news. Everyone was so excited.

I’ll never forget the moment I found I was bleeding, I told my mum and she said “just monitor it, it’ll be nothing I’m sure”. It got worse and I went to hospital, they couldn’t do anything at that point and we had to wait until Tuesday to get a scan.

Easter Monday I lost my baby. I lost myself. A week later my boyfriend split up with me as he didn’t want any more children.

Within 2 weeks I lost everything I loved. I was broken, 2 months on I still am.

I will never forget how it felt to be pregnant and the dreams I had for me and my baby, nor will I ever forget how heartbroken I was Easter monday.

My due date was 14th October, my best friend who has been amazing will go to the beach on that day and let off a balloon in memory. I wear an angel wing on my wrist every day.

I am determined this year to rebuild my life and find happiness again. I will never forget my beautiful baby ever.

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