15 October 2020

THIS SHOULD BE MY PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT

My baby would have been 12 weeks. It is no coincidence that the day I planned on announcing my first pregnancy is October 15th, which I later learned is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. While I can no longer announce the exciting news on this day, I feel an urge to bring awareness.

I was pregnant and my baby was taken too soon.

After bleeding for three days I rushed to the ER with my husband. Due to COVID Andy was not allowed in the ER with me. I was alone when the doctor told me my baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was having a miscarriage and while I was bleeding my baby was still inside me. I carried my baby for another four days until I was able to have a D&C. Alone, again due to COVID, I endured surgery to remove my baby from my body. I think of myself as a strong and independent person but there is no amount of strength in the world that prepares you to lose, continue to carry, and separate from your baby.

I debated sharing this very personal story but if I can let another woman or couple know they are not alone it makes a world of a difference. Even though this pregnancy and miscarriage happened to my husband and I, with or without COVID, there are so many moments of isolation. I am 1 in 4. I am not alone.

 

This year: I plan on sharing my story so that no other women feels alone. I have asked family members to light at candle on October 15th in remembrance.

 

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