16 December 2018

We never planned to have children but all that changed when we found out we were expecting. Shock turned to delight and we began to envisage this new future with our little baby.

My partner wanted to tell everyone, shout it from the rooftops but I was more cautious and convinced him to wait until the 12 week mark, it was a mark we’d never reach.

I began to spot, reading up I found many sources saying it was normal but 2 days later I was sat watching the new Ghostbusters and I just knew this wasn’t normal, I went for a lie down but soon felt I needed to go to the toilet and out gushed so much blood along with any notion this was normal spotting.

This is the date I remember the 16th December the day I knew we’d lost our baby.

The next day we went to the doctors still testing positive and were referred to the early pregnancy unit for a scan, a scan which would confirm what I already knew to be true, there was no longer a baby.

Two years later I now feel ready to try again and we will hope and pray for a different outcome this time. One blessing we take away from this experience is that we now know we do want children and for that realisation we are thankful.

This year I will: Take myself off to my favourite beauty sport for a peaceful walk.

 

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