September 1979 and June 1997

I have had 2 miscarriages, both sad and painful at the time for different reasons.

Both around 11/12 weeks. 1979 and 1997.

Both probable boys I feel and so I did name them.

Both times having to have ERPCs (removal via D/C of the remains, although I held some of the 1997 foetus in my hand).

The gynae sister on the ward in 1979 gave me a chat as if to say ‘never mind but don’t try again for a baby again just yet’.

And so I didn’t.

The second time I was more upset and didn’t want any leaflets, any support, still now thinking what my life would have been like with a 10 year old (who was very excited at having a sister or brother), plus a baby. A big gap!

I accept that there is a reason why these 2 souls could not live and know they are in heaven and will see them there one day.

I am glad there is a Baby Loss Awareness Week.

After all these years we will remember them.

 

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