30 October 2013

It is hard to choose a date as I’ve experienced 5 pregnancy losses, but it is the birth/death of my son at 18 weeks gestation that I want to remember.

Our little boy was diagnosed with a chromosome disorder and we took the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy in 2013. I gave birth to him and held him, and we held a funeral in his memory.

I have a genetic problem that means I lose babies, or I need to make the hardest choices. Each pregnancy we roll the dice. I wanted to post this here because too much judgement and too little compassion surrounds prenatal testing and termination of pregnancy. I want other couples put in this painful situation to know they are not alone.

Despite our difficulties and heartache we have a wonderful daughter and, finally, after losing four in a row, a rainbow baby on the way. There is hope.

I will give our rainbow baby the best possible start to life. Their arrival will not replace our loss but he or she has brought me light amidst darkness.

Memorial candle

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