25 February 2019

This was the day our baby finally made a start to leaving us and this cruel world.

It’s also the date I was meant to be 10 weeks pregnant. At this stage I was becoming to become a lot less anxious and more comfortable that maybe everything would be okay for me and my partner and I really felt we were due for some good luck. I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks so this was also quite early but the sheer excitement and happiness we both experienced was such a great feeling. Of course we were also worried because we know how common miscarriage is and 1 in 3 woman will experience miscarriage… I really felt maybe we could have been the lucky ones that managed to watch our baby grow and eventually have our baby in our arms, but unfortunately that wasn’t the way it was meant to be.

When I first started bleeding my worst fears had been confirmed, and I knew deep inside something was not right and I couldn’t keep back the tears no matter how comforting everyone was being towards me. When I arrived at the hospital the wait until the scan felt like absolute hell all in one, I Just wanted to see our baby for the first time and maybe just maybe it would be okay… Sadly it was confirmed that our baby who was still lay inside of me looking peaceful and so tiny had passed away at 8 wks and 3 days which works out to be Valentine’s Day. This was exactly 2 weeks ago from the date I started bleeding. I had suffered a missed miscarriage and I was blissfully unaware for that 2 weeks that anything was wrong, I can’t express the pain and the emotional upset I felt in words… I was shocked and angry that my body didn’t let me know sooner that my baby was no longer alive.

It’s been a traumatic experience that I really hope we don’t experience again but it’s also given me valuable experience that sometimes you aren’t lucky and you have to really appreciate when you are, I’m extremely upset that I will no longer get so see my baby that I made so many plans for, but deep down I have to accept that our baby was too precious for this world – even though we will try again when the time is right this will never replace the baby we lost, and I will never forget how blessed I was to have you grow inside my for the 8 weeks that I did.

This year we will hope to share our stories with other woman and couples to help with awareness of missed miscarriage and hope to help other people with the loss of an unborn baby.

Comments are closed.