26 May 2017

I found out I was pregnant in the March and I couldn’t have been happier and when I told my soon to be husband I cried so much I think I near choked.

I had some problems at first but everything seemed to iron out and on my first scan they could see 2 babies! I went again for a check up after the complications and confirmed 1 baby – measuring at around 11-13 weeks and I got to see their heartbeat measurement on the screen… I felt a love I’d never ever imagined I could feel.

I had my 12 week scan booked in 10 days later where I was then going to get my proper due date etc. However on the night of the 26/05/2017 the day I seen my babies heartbeat everything crumbled around me. I was in severe pain. I was bleeding a lot and I felt like my world was ending, I was taken back to hospital and unfortunately left for many hours alone and I was told I would not be scanned again due to only being scanned that morning. I ended up nearly passing out in the bathroom and miscarried and passed my baby in the toilets…

The next day I had to pay privately for a midwife to scan me to confirm my loss.. In a cold room with a woman I’d never met before. My world was shattered and I’d never felt sadness ever like this before and I don’t believe I ever will again.

 

This year I will:

My little baby was going to be brought into the world by planned c section due to some health complications and surgeries I’d had which meant that natural birth could have complications for me. They were planning to bring me in for a c-section on 24/12/2017 to welcome our baby to the world.

This is also the same date as my grandfather’s birthday. This year my baby will have been born so I plan to remember him by being with my family on Christmas eve and letting his place in the world be known.

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