2 April 2018

I was 3 weeks when I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, very early, but all the tests were positive. I did the test on the 25th of January, I then had my drop in midwife appointment at 6 weeks, followed by an appointment at the hospital at 10 weeks. I was so excited at that appointment. I got my scan date, which was the 27th of March, it was two weeks from then.

I couldn’t wait to see my baby, only to find out the baby’s heart had stopped beating at 8 weeks. I couldn’t even hold back the tears. My 2 year old boy had been excited to see his little brother or sister when I showed him the scan.

I carried my dead baby inside me for 5 weeks and that will never heal. On the 5th of April I was supposed to be staying at the hospital to do it the medical way, but on the 2nd of April my body finally decided to let Harlow go. I say goodbye on the 24th of April, when my tiny baby will be cremated.

I will remember every single date my heart won’t let me forget – I am truly heartbroken – and light a candle by your ashes every year. I will always remember you.

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