24 June 2020

In June I went for our 12 week scan ALONE (Covid) to be told that baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Our whole world came crashing down. Initially all I could do was send my boyfriend a text message, he was then heartbroken alone in his car waiting for me.

I went for a medically managed miscarriage 2 days later. I was in a side room and miscarried alone in the toilet. The only comfort I had was my amazing nurse who despite Covid restrictions pulled me in to her arms and comforted me.

3 weeks later I was called back to be told I’d had a partial molar pregnancy and again, I was in the room ALONE when the doctor told me that I would possibly need chemotherapy if my hormone levels didn’t drop or if they increase. I then had to have a transvaginal scan as I didn’t have a D&C (as we were unaware I’d had a partial molar pregnancy) to check that there was no tissue left behind and luckily there wasn’t!

My hormone levels are now at a normal level (just) and still being monitored fortnightly until December if all is well.

Our journey still feels like it’s far from over but we are keeping positive and hopeful. I’m so so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend (as well as my family and friends) who has literally picked me up when I felt like my whole world was crumbling. Some days are better than most but I still have moments where I’m filled with grief and would do anything to be the person sharing their good news with everyone, but hopefully one day we will get there.


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