16 July 2017

On Sunday 16/07/2017 I woke with a feeling that the day was not going to be a good day, but I wasn’t prepared for what was to come. I had been walking with my husband and son when I stopped with cramping pain, I waited for it to pass and came home.

I lay on the settee to rest but the pain became more intense, I started to spot but this wasn’t unusual has it had happened in my previous pregnancy. By evening I was in so much pain and I was losing a lot of blood that my husband called the hospital and they told him I needed an ambulance and to get to them, my mother in law came to look after my son and I was taken to hospital.

I lay on the hospital bed holding my husbands hand as the midwives examined me, I already knew I was having a miscarriage as I had two before, I lay there numb my body shaking in shock. I was taken to a private room with a butterfly placed on the door to let others know I had suffered a loss, that night I didn’t sleep, I just lay there in a daze, wondering how to tell my son, I blamed myself, I felt like I had failed!

The next morning I went for a scan and it was confirmed that the miscarriage was complete and I was able to go home… Now I cried, I was going home just me now with no baby there.

A few days later I received a phone call from the hospital who explained that the miscarriage was due to a partial molar pregnancy, I did not have a clue! The midwife was great she explained what it was and that information was being sent out to explain everything, which arrived that day. She explained that the hospital that would look after me would be in touch about urine and blood samples and what I would need to do, the next few months was hard, I didn’t grieve because I was dealing with all this.

Finally my hcg levels returned to normal and I was able to try again and on 30/07/2018 I gave birth to a beautiful rainbow baby boy.

I am still grieving and trying to understand everything that happened, I know I am not alone and neither are you xoxo

 

This year I will:

Spend time with my family to mark the babies anniversary and remember.

 

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