22 December

I’m Laura and I’m married to Sean. We’ve had 3 missed miscarriages & 2 chemical. The latest miscarriage happened during the current covid pandemic. We wanted to share our story especially as I found it quite scary when I was looking for other people’s experiences plus, we’re keen to break the silence around miscarriage as it’s now something that is very much part of us.

Our Story…

In 2018, we decided to try for a baby (I already have 1 child who is now 8) and fell pregnant almost straight away. We decided to have a private 8-week scan so we would be able to tell family our news at Christmas. I didn’t really have any symptoms other than sore boobs and mild nausea that eased off at 6 weeks. On 22nd December, we found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks . The days after were really hard and Christmas was bit of a blur. I opted for a D&C which happened on NYE. I had never had any type of surgery before, so I was very anxious however I found this the easier part of the miscarriage, I was sent home after the procedure within a few hours and had only a small amount of bleeding and no pain after.

In February 2019, I found out I was pregnant again which felt like a blessing to fall pregnant so soon after. The difference this time was that I had no pregnancy symptoms. We opted for another scan at 8 weeks as I couldn’t shake the feeling that the pregnancy was not progressing the way it should. A few days before mother’s day we were told there was no fetal pole. Again, I opted for a D&C with the same recovery as before.

In June and December 19, I had positive tests but within a few days I started to bleed, and the pregnancies didn’t progress which felt like my body was playing a cruel trick after what we had been through.

I was referred to Tommy’s and in January 2020 had some blood tests which didn’t bring up any abnormalities, so we decided to try again and was prescribed progesterone to try once I had a positive pregnancy test and would scan me at 6,8, 10 weeks.

I found out I was pregnant in March 2020. I had a scan at 6 weeks through Tommy’s where there was a tiny flutter of a heartbeat, so they thought I was only just over 5 weeks. My symptoms were much more intense this time, the nausea was overwhelming which offered me so much comfort. However, a week later, the nausea suddenly disappeared and within a few days I knew that the baby had gone. At the 8-week scan, the confirmed that the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks 6 days.

At this point the Covid lockdown was in place so had to go the scan by myself. The hardest part was having to walk back to the car to tell my husband.

Due to Covid – the options for miscarriage were limited. I really didn’t want to do medical management as I was worried about the pain and bleeding that I had read about online, so I opted to wait for a few weeks to see if things happened naturally. 3 weeks later with no sign of anything happening , I then had an MVA, it was tough being awake for the procedure and I had scared myself ‘Googling’ however although not pleasant, I only felt mild discomfort and not pain and had amazing care from the consultants and nurses who really helped me through the procedure.

The recovery was different this time as about a week later in the evening, I ended up passing several large clots which I had never had before – after seeking advice from EPAU, I waited until the morning to see if things eased off. After a few hours I passed no more clots and bleeding was manageable, so I assumed that was the end of things.

When I did the pregnancy test about 3 weeks later after the MVA, I was shocked to see a clear as anything positive test which was devastating to see as I assumed, we were out the other side. I then had to go back for a scan. They could see that there was still some tissue (RPOC) remaining. At this point, I wasn’t really wanting any more procedures especially as it had only been 3 weeks since the MVA so opted for Medical Management. I took the pills at 9am the next day and had mild cramping throughout. At 6pm that night, I passed what I believe to be the remaining tissue. I had little cramping and bleeding after that. I still need to wait a couple more weeks to do another test, but I was so confident that the miscarriage was complete.

Shockingly, a scan 2 weeks later showed more RPOC, so we tried medical management again. This did not seem to work and a week later, a further scan confirmed there was still RPOC. At this point, the doctor advised a further MVA. They were unable to provide any answers as to why there was still tissue remaining as she hadn’t seen this before where 3 lots of treatment hadn’t worked.

On 18 June 2020, I had my second MVA and to be honest, this time it was more painful and I felt what I can describe as light tugging with cramping. A scan after, showed that there may be something left but she couldn’t be 100% and said it might just be normal so now I just need to wait for my cycle to return to normal which still leaves me in a weird place.

This miscarriage has been the most physically draining. From finding out on 3rd April to still receiving treatment on 16th June is a lot to get my head round, my miscarriage lasted longer than my pregnancy. I can’t understand how I keep ending up on the wrong side of statistics.

The only advice I can give people is that everyone’s experience is different so try not to get too hung up on what you read as its so easy to scare yourself. You do find a strength you didn’t know you had when you go through it yourself.

Although I’ve healed physically (although this one is still on-going), I do struggle day to day and some days the emotions get the better of me. It doesn’t matter whether your miscarriage was a week ago or 6 months – it doesn’t leave you and I think that’s what people around you can forget. The greatest support is my husband who gets me through the tough days as well as having to deal with his own emotions. My family and close friends have also been there throughout.  I have started counselling and have now returned to work.  I have always been open and honest about my miscarriages with family, work and friends and breaking the silence around miscarriage is something we feel so strongly about. We plan on trying again and hope to have a baby together one day.

 

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