22 January 2020

So my very sad little story began in June 2019. I had been off the pill and using natural cycles since the previous September and was “actively avoiding.” In the June we weren’t as careful and straight away I fell pregnant, with nausea and aura migraine being my first symptoms a week before testing. The test was positive and we were over the moon. A few days later sadly at the toilet the blood began, followed by intense cramping. A visit to the EPU confirmed I was having an early miscarriage.

We began trying again straight away, as my partner works away timing these things has been challenging but I again fell pregnant in October 2019 which again ended around the time of my due period. I then fell pregnant again in November which horrifically was another chemical. That was 3 in a row and I honestly believed it just wasn’t going to happen for us and that something must be wrong with me.

I shockingly fell pregnant in the December for the 4th time in a row, why am I so fertile but something keeps going wrong? I started lightly spotting around new year’s day and assumed another chemical pregnancy. I was at this point referred to gynaecology for further testing due to recurrent miscarriages.

I continued to spot lightly every single day and assumed I must just be miscarrying slower than previous times or that tissue must remain inside me.

While on holiday in Tenerife, still bleeding daily, I decided to take another test on 16th January to determine if I still had HGC in my system. To both of our surprises the test was a blaring positive with the test line appearing before the control and much darker than ever before. I was around 7 weeks by my calculations at this point. I called my local EPAS unit from Tenerife and they suggested I get a scan around a week after I return home when I would be about 8 weeks and more likely to see something.

We arrived home, desperate and worried I decided to book a private early scan.

On 22nd January we went for the scan, the abdominal scan couldn’t find anything so they conducted a transvaginal scan instead.

The screen was pointed away from us. The consultant looked concerned and quietly asked me “please don’t panic, but the baby appears to be growing in your right fallopian tube, please remain lying down and we are going to call you an ambulance”.

I was then rushed to hospital with my partner following the ambulance. I was taken to a small waiting room filled with heavily pregnant woman being cooed over by their loving partners while I sat in tears alone waiting for my boyfriend. Eventually my boyfriend appeared, it felt like hours later, followed by my parents and a bag packed with overnight things, just in case.

My mum eventually asked the nurse to take this seriously as ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency. The nurses weren’t concerned as I wasn’t in pain and they hadn’t even read the private report as it wasn’t NHS.

They eventually gave in and provided me with a bed, took some bloods, a urine sample and my physical observations. A lovely and kind consultant then took me for another transvaginal scan to confirm it was in fact an ectopic pregnancy. I was told surgery was my only option as my wee bean had a heartbeat and that the normally used methotrexate would not work for this. I was taken quickly into surgery and my right fallopian tube and baby were taken from me that night via laparoscopy.

I recovered physically from the surgery pretty quickly, I took much longer mentally. I still get tearful a lot and feel hopeless. I have my scan picture to remind me that I can do it and that it will happen for me one day. I have also spoken to many other women with similar stories and of those many have gone on to have babies.

I sadly had yet another chemical pregnancy at the end of March 2020. I know our time will come and remain positive most of the time. I have had the results from the laparoscopy which showed that everything appears normal inside including my other tube. Blood tests showed no issues either. I take comfort in that.

This traumatic event did cause me to take my health more seriously. This year I will continue to try, I won’t let this defeat me. I want a baby more than ever and nothing and nobody will stop us trying. I will never forget any of my wee beans, especially my Ectopic, it was alive and that made it so much harder, but also gives me hope that if the next one is in the right place it will be perfect ❤

 

 

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