4 December 2018

My name’s Michelle, I’m 31 years old.

After losing my dad last year , finding out in On December the 4th 2018 was expecting my first baby with my fiancé, was the best news I’d had in ages, with mixed emotions as all I wanted to tell was my dad.

I  experienced a lot of tummy cramps so had a scan at 5 weeks and the baby was healthy and had a strong heartbeat, we were sooo excited and stared picking names, we told minimal people.

On my 12 week scan I was waiting for that tiny face to appear on the screen…
As I heard the words I’m very sorry !!!

I just burst out crying I’d had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks no signs. I’ll never forget my partners face, it broke my heart.

We had lost the baby , I’d even been sick that morning.

My body had changed so much I had a bump that I kept saying to my fiancé look at this every day I was amazed and know it was all taken away.

I know had the decision of what to do next, it was all really too much to deal with.

I choose a manual vacuum aspiration under local which I found really emotional, but minimal discomfort , few weeks later struggling with everything I didn’t feel right I rang EPU to which they were amazing they scanned me and told me  I had retained products  and a cyst on my right ovary over 5 cm. I then choose medical managements this time as my next option which unfortunately didn’t work ,  I was then told I needed to the let nature take its course.

3 weeks later with a negative pregnancy test I though we could finally try again but no sign of my monthly cycle and still a lot of pain, I rang EPU who told me to go down. I was refused a scan as this is for pregnant women and I’m sorry but your no longer pregnant “how rude “ I thought I was offered a blood test and this then confirmed I still had HCG within my blood stream of 7.9.

The following day I was offered a scan and confirmed I know my body and something wasn’t right ….. I now have a AVM and cysts on both my ovaries.

I am physically and emotionally drained. I never understood what someone goes through losing a baby doesn’t matter how far along it’s your baby. I’m back at hospital in 3 weeks and am currently on medication for my AVM which I’ve tried to research to understand more it’s very scary.

I just hope that I can try for a baby again soon.

I am back at the hospital on the 26/4/19 so fingers crossed it is good news.

This year I’m holding to get my health back to normal and at some point try for a family again.

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