18 October 2017

Today is a day I will remember because I was just looking for eyedrops and instead found my positive pregnancy test in my bathroom drawer where I hid it because I wanted to surprise your pop with the news that you were on the way the next day, which was Father’s Day.

You were made almost 5 months ago, so by now, I would be able to feel you kick and twirl inside me. I so wish I could feel you tonight, my sweet baby. I know we can never touch, but I hope you know I hold you in my heart forever.

Seeing that test was shocking to me in a way because I feel like life has moved on, people have moved on, and talk to me about normal day to day stuff, but my mind always turns to you, and sometimes I feel like I am alone, but seeing that test makes me remember that you were real, you were with me once, and as sad as I feel, I am happy to see a reminder of the days we shared a life.

I will be missing you forever. Love Mom

 

This year I will:

Try to not cry whenever I think of you, and try to focus on the time we did have together.

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