I remember the shock like it was yesterday, the audible gasp escaping from my mouth without warning. I sat in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity, dreading having to walk down those stairs and say the words to my husband.

My daughter often asks when will it be her turn to be a big sister, why do other children have siblings and not her?

You will always be our what if. We will just remember as best as we can, together.

I had a miscarriage. It is the hardest thing I have had to say but it has got easier to be open about it.

I am physically and emotionally drained. I never understood what someone goes through losing a baby doesn’t matter how far along it’s your baby.

The last 3 years we have been trying to get pregnant. The last 3 years we have been seen, tested and advised. The last 3 years we have lost 8 babies, all lost at 8 weeks or before.

I’ve found the loss of not just the babies, but all the plans and hopes and dreams we had surrounding them, the most painful to process.