Not many people even know that you existed,
Even fewer know that you have a name.
But I know, I remember, and its time that others knew you too.
We wanted you for several years, occasionally thought that you were on your way,
But it turned out that they were only “false alarms.”
Then one day it all changed. I just knew that you were on your way,
I felt so different, so happy, all was well with the world.
I was coping with the morning sickness, felt it was worthwhile.
I held you close, my little secret, I loved you from the start.
A few weeks passed, we told our nearest and our dearest,
They were delighted, but sworn to secrecy, we wanted to keep you to ourselves.
I often wondered what the future held, what you would grow to be,
Fair haired or dark, blue eyes or brown, it didn’t matter for you were already loved.
What of the further future, would you change the world, as you had changed my life?
Every morning, I greeted you and as I climbed into bed I said, “goodnight little one.”
Until that fateful day when I greeted you, but that evening didn’t say goodnight.
You were gone, but only from your growing space – you are always in my heart.
I was numb unbelieving, why did you stay for just those precious weeks?
I knew sorrow like I’d never known, and it has not been repeated since.
You may not have stayed, never born, but yet you made me a mum.
At that time, such things were not discussed, your short life was unrecognised,
I remembered then, I remember now, and I always will.
Yes, there were other children, but for years they never knew of you,
It was the way things were done- put the past behind you and carry on.
So, I counted my new blessings, held them close and loved them dearly,
My heart held three precious ones, but my arms held only two.
I named you Adam, and yet for over 40 years it was never said aloud.
Now I call you by your name, and tell others of your short, but precious life.
So, thank you Adam for choosing to be mine even though your stay was short,
Now I call you by your name, and tell others of your short, but precious life.
So, thank you Adam for choosing to be mine even though your stay was short,
I may regret that you were never born, but I don’t regret that you were here.
I am also truly thankful that I can talk about you now,
And learn of other little ones who also left too soon.
Why our babies had to go is something I don’t really understand,
One day I will know, but until then I leave you in His hands,
Knowing you are loved and safe in Heaven, loved and remembered here on earth.
Diane R-M