I met my husband when I was 19 and accidentally got pregnant when I was 25, which was very scary as it was not planned, but I had a healthy and happy pregnancy and my son is now 7.
In July 2019 we got married. After that we started thinking that our son was sad as his friends had brothers and sisters and he didn’t. So my husband and I spoke and said we should give this dream to him. In December 2019 I had a positive pregnancy test and everyone was happy, including our son.
On January 15th I had a miscarriage when I was 12 weeks. I had to have surgery and a blood transfusion as I lost lots of blood. I had very sad and depressed moments as we never thought this would happen to us. Two weeks later I discovered that I had an internal infection.
In March I went back to work, I was store manager at Costa in Southampton Airport. Three hours after being at work my general manager came and said that we needed to talk. He told me that because of coronavirus we needed to shut the store permanently. I was crying as I loved my job and after only just losing a pregnancy losing a job felt even worse.
In June I discovered that I was pregnant again. July 1st, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, I had my 2nd miscarriage. We were in the middle of the pandemic and so my husband had to leave me in the emergency department and wait in the car with my son, without knowing what was happening.
After all that I was very depressed and constantly sad. Having no family around apart from my son and husband was even worse, so my husband decided to book me a trip to Madeira (where I’m from) together with our son. Unfortunately my husband couldn’t go as he is an essential worker. I went and enjoyed the time with my family and son.
We came back after 3 weeks, and we needed income so I start looking for a job, but it was difficult finding a job in the middle of a pandemic. I only found a housekeeper job in a hotel, which I accepted and started work. I hated the job as I felt like a slave. We had no breaks, cleaning on the rush without even having time to go to the toilet. I was getting depressed with my life again.
In January 2021 I discovered that I was pregnant for the 3rd time since my son. We were happy again, thinking a miscarriage doesn’t happen 3 times in the row. So I started making plans in my head, like what we will make the bedroom look like, when on the February 20th I started bleeding again. I just started crying on my own on the toilet seat. It was late and I couldn’t sleep. At 2am I went downstairs and watched TV, waiting for 8am to phone my GP.
I went for a scan on Saturday morning and they said there was no heart beat. They booked me in for surgery on Monday 22nd February, my 3rd miscarriage. So today I’m still in pain and bleeding and being investigated.
Why did all this happen to me? 1st miscarriage, losing my job, going through a pandemic and lockdown, 2nd miscarriage, finding a job that I hate, 3rd miscarriage. In my head is just ‘why?’.