I have endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome and from the age of 17 I was told I was infertile and would never conceive a child. However, in December 2019, just a month after having laparoscopic surgery on my ovary, I fell pregnant, which came as a complete shock.
I had a really rough pregnancy with a lot of hospital stays and my daughter was born in August 2020 at 37 weeks. The labour itself was tough and we almost didn’t survive it, but I’m glad we’re both still here now.
Mid-February 2021 I started to feel ‘off’, like I had done with my daughter. I was nauseous constantly and decided to take a test. It was positive! I was over the moon. Again unexpected, as I had a young daughter still. Me and my fiancé were over the moon though.
I had a few cramps here and there but nothing major. Towards the end of March however, over one weekend I started cramping more severely. On the Saturday evening I had started steadily losing blood. I called 111 and they stated it might possibly be a miscarriage. I was just under 11 weeks and devastated. The next day I took myself to A&E where many tests later they told me I had an incompetent cervix that was still dilated and I was unfortunately losing my unborn child.
I was completely devastated, having grown attached to my baby. I went home and cried all night long. The next day my cramps got worse and unfortunately I gave birth on my toilet at 10 weeks 4 days. I gave my partner my child as I did not know what to do with the baby and to this day I never will know. My heart is broken and people always say “you can always have another”, “you still have a daughter, take it as a blessing”.
Losing a child is something I wish on no one. These last 5 months have been full of ups and downs with my moods and it’s been tough on my relationship with my fiancé as we have almost broken up a few times as I come to terms with my loss.
This is my story that I’d like to share with everyone. Thank you.